Do You Need a Jade Egg? Probably Not, and Here’s Why 

Commonly asked question in the Pussy Universe : Should I get a yoni egg (also called a jade egg)? What should I be doing to strengthen my pelvic floor?

What I hear : How can I create more relationship, sensation and awareness in my pussy?

Because most people aren’t asking because they want to strengthen their pelvic floor for the helluvit. What they really want is more pleasure, sensation and unification with Pussy Herself — a yoni egg, Kegel’s and strengthening is just what they know about and so is top of mind.

Not a Pelvic Floor Specialist, But Here’s My Somatic Healing Experience

Listen, I am not a pelvic floor specialist. However…

I’ve helped people heal and recover from musculoskeletal injuries and misalignments (pelvic, spinal, core-related, etc) for over 15 years with extensive, comprehensive training in multiple therapeutic approaches, including Pilates, yoga, somatic sex coaching and eco-somatics

I’m an erotic healer, teacher and ceremonialist who regularly facilitates pussy, pleasure, somatic healing and embodiment. This has many faces, including holding ceremony in person and online and teaching women how to experience more pleasure in their bodies through both somatic and spiritual, energetic pathways.

I have been putting my hands on people’s bodies for almost 2 decades — cueing and coaching them, helping them experience new levels of awareness, stability, strength, mobility and sensation. Whether we’re stabilizing a low back injury or I’m doing hands-on, full body anointing work, I get regular, in-person feedback about what does and doesn’t move people closer to their embodied potential.

I have also spent my own time in pelvic floor PT for my own injuries and issues, learning intimately from the inside out. 

I’ve attended many workshops and seminars on pelvic floor health and function as part of my work.

And… last but not least… I’ve got a pussy and been through my own epic journey of healing, reclamation and empowerment.

You Probably Have a Tight Pelvic Floor (And Don’t Need More Kegels)

Here’s what I’ve gathered and what all those experiences usually agree on : It’s more likely that your pelvic floor is tight as fuck and you don’t need to make it tighter.  If you add “strengthening” on top of freeze, rigidity, numbness and/or pain… it’s not a healing combo.

It doesn’t mean a yoni egg can’t potentially be a fun, healing tool. It is! But it isn’t where I would advise most people begin.

(If you do go there eventually: skip the jade egg. It’s a porous stone, which makes it harder to keep truly clean for something you’re putting inside your body. Look for a nonporous stone instead.)

Signs You Have a Tight Pelvic Floor: A Quick Check-In

Right now, if you have a level of awareness already, just tune in to your pelvic floor.

Are you gripping your butthole right now? Do you have to go the bathroom but are holding it in? Are you trying not to pee (even though you don’t even need to)? Can you even feel the inside of your vagina muscles? When you breathe, does your pelvic floor move?

The answer to most of these is usually :

Yes, I’m squeezing my butthole a lot.

Yes, I constantly just “hold it” when I have to go to the bathroom.

No, I can’t feel my vagina (like at all).

And when I breathe… my pelvic floor can move???

So, if you have a pelvic floor injury of some kind, please go see a specialist in person.

But if you just want to feel more in your pussy and you think strengthening is the way to get it… read on.

Practices to Build Pelvic Floor Awareness and Increase Vaginal Sensation

Rather than assuming squeezing and strengthening is the only answer (the benefits of pelvic floor exercises depend entirely on what your particular floor actually needs), let’s explore what you can do to create more sensation, blood flow, movement, relaxation, and awareness. These are simple, safe and inexpensive practices you can start doing right now.

Everyone wants a cosmic,  cervical, whole-body energy orgasm with their partner. Amazing! I want that for you, too and I’m happy to help.

AND…

If you currently don’t notice and can’t feel the wind brushing across the hairs on your arm…

If the primary energy in your life is being bothered, offended, proving or unworthiness…

If your relationship is a giant ball of resentment and unacknowledged pain…

If all you think about is your business…

If your self-pleasure practice is a one-dimensional routine that gets you off in the one way you know how and the rest of your day you’re disassociated…

Then that interstellar orgasm isn’t your current benchmark. Even if it were to happen, it would likely feel like too much, too soon, too fast. Most people need to begin closer to their current state  — cultivating  the stories, capacity and sensual-ability to hold the level of erotic pleasure and power they want to experience.

We have to start where you actually are, love it, enjoy it. And let the great snake of pleasure guide the way. There are more gifts than just the goal at the end.

Disclaimer : this is for entertainment and informational purposes only. Many of these are not recommended if you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant. Please consult your physician before engaging with any new type of exercise or modality.

Mindful Touch: A Somatic Pelvic Floor Practice

You probably mindlessly touch your pussy multiple times a day — going to the bathroom, getting dressed and undressed, taking a shower.

A very simple, free thing you can do to create more sensation awareness (which can lead to more pleasure and agency) is this :

Stop treating your pussy like it’s an object.

Most vulvas and pelvic floors have a learned numbness and disconnection. We go about our day literally not thinking about it or paying attention to it at all, having no idea what it’s feeling or what it needs. Then we jump into a sexual situation, and we want her to do all of these things for us, feel things she’s never felt before and squirt and have a cervical orgasm and not take “too long.” Talk about an extractive relationship.

Every time you touch your pussy, slow down.

Feel the sensation of the clothing, the water, the soap, your hand, the chair — whatever it is. Notice, if you’re clenching. Can you unclench? Feel the sensation again.

When you take a deep breath, inhale all the way down to your pelvic floor so that it descends and expands, opening like an upside down flower. Or at least… imagine that.

This, all by itself, will begin to build more conscious pathways of sensation and awareness.

A Simple Touch Ritual With Yoni Serum

One of my favorite rituals is to apply a little yoni serum when I get out of the shower. Using your hands, gently, delicately and slowly apply to the outer and inner folds of your vulva.

You only want to use clean products loaded with integrity, and the only product I’d recommend is the Living Libations Yoni Serum. Many products say they’re clean and, frankly, they’re lying.

It’s not that other solid products and brands don’t potentially exist, but this is one that I use regularly, trust and recommend.

For most of you, this is plenty to work on for a while. Is it a cure-all? No. Is it glamorous and flashy? No. Is it where most shutdown systems need to start? Yes.

Yoni Steam Benefits

This is yet another nourishing, simple practice. You’re essentially brewing an herbal tea steam for your pussy.

For this you’ll need 2 things : a yoni steam box and an organic herb or herbal blend appropriate for yoni steaming.

There are many beautiful, simple boxes for sale on the market. I bought this one. You want to make sure the wood is not treated or varnished with any chemicals whatsoever.

Many herbalists sell organic, responsibly harvested blends specifically for yoni steams. You may also want to work with an herbalist to create a custom blend just for you based on any symptoms or desires you have.

When you’re sitting on the box on top of the steam, you’ll take a towel or blanket and wrap it around your waist to cover yourself and the box opening. This helps a) keep you warm and b) keep any steam from escaping.

I particularly love to do a yoni steam at night as I’m finishing my period. Sit in the dark with beautiful music, a candle. Relax and breathe into your pelvic floor and approach the pause like a meditation, a listening.

HONOR THE PUSSY YES AND NO

Again, this is very simple but often overlooked.

Just like you’ve trained yourself to pause and listen to your intuition.

Just like you use your inner ear to ask the plant if you can harvest from it — listening for the yes or no.

Pussy is the same way. No One and Nothing goes into the vagina unless you ask her and then hear a fuck YES.

If you don’t even know where to begin with feeling-hearing for that fuck YES, see the next practice below.

Pelvic Mapping Practice

This is something you can do alone or with a practitioner. If you’re in my MA membership, we have a recorded practice guiding you through exploring your pelvis and pussy in this way so you don’t feel on your own.

Using therapeutic touch and/or visual aids like a mirror, you map your pelvis and pussy to :

• identify anatomical landmarks
• identify areas of tension/trigger/pain
• release or relax chronic tension
• strengthen and tone areas of weakness or imbalance
• remediate scar tissue
• create more sensation and coherence throughout your physical-emotional-energetic bodies
• potentially heal issues like pain, incontinence, fissures, UTI’s, and other symptoms
  
  

Yoni Massage Benefits

This builds on the pelvic mapping by adding the element of massage. The massage uses therapeutic touch — that is, touch without expectation — to massage the vulva, pelvis and inner wall of the vagina. The massage may or may not be arousing, and you aren’t necessarily coming in with the goal of creating arousal.

If you want to try this on yourself :

Go gentle. Go slow. You won’t heal everything all in one try.

Use your hands, fingers to gently massage, notice or stretch areas that feel tight, numb or sensitive. If you don’t know a lot about your body, nervous system or how past experiences imprint on the body… I don’t recommend doing this by yourself.

If you have some body literacy and aren’t working with a specific injury or acute trauma, you can gently explore on your own.

Tools I Recommend for Yoni Massage

My favorite tools for this are :

• your hands plus organic castor oil. The oil can be messy so you’ll want to do this in the shower or have a towel underneath you so you don’t have to worry about it.
• a dilator or curved wand (usually labeled as for the “G-spot”) plus lube. My favorite G-spot vibrator (that can also be used for this exercise) is this one.
  
  

Slowly, gently, use your hand or the wand to make your way around the circumference of the vagina. Pause anywhere you feel tenderness, sensitivity, pain or emotion. Simply be present with light touch and/or gentle massage. Tenderness is usually a sign that there’s also some kind of restriction.  You do not want extreme sensation, pain or force. You want presence and touch that is well within your ability to experience.

Breathe always. Soften and relax into the touch. Be present with your sensations and any emotions, images or movement that arises.

Once you make your way around the lowest ring of your vaginal wall, go up another fingerprint and make your way around again in the same mode.

You can do this for as long as long as you like. Inside of MA, we also have more guided practices to help you with this. 

It’s possible that any of these can become arousing, pleasurable experiences. It can be very healing to approach all of them with a generous presence that doesn’t need a particular outcome. Practice simply being with what arises. When you allow for more relationship between you and your pussy (as its own goal),  the more coherence, self-trust and sensation (re: pleasure) you can experience.

If you want to receive the full gifts, the erotic snake of pleasure must be met with full presence, unattached to the goal as you spiral and slither towards an unrevealed destination.

Whether you ever pick up a yoni egg (jade egg or otherwise), this is the practice: coming home to your own pussy first.

Pleasure is, Pussy is, first and foremost, Mystery.

—

Enjoy.

Jai MA.

One More Doorway

A pussy that’s been asleep for years doesn’t wake up from reading one blog post. It wakes up because you keep coming back to presence, again and again, the way we practiced here.

If something in you is stirring and wants more room to move, my FREE EROS Class is ninety minutes of guided embodiment work with me: pleasure, life force and the erotic as a spiritual practice. Presence over performance. Sensation over striving.

No pressure. Just an open door, whenever you’re ready to walk through it.

Step into EROS Class →